Holy Crap! I'm Out of Paper! : The In-Law Survival Guide

About the Game

No toilet paper. No way out. No dignity. A text-based survival comedy where you're trapped in a fancy restaurant bathroom — minutes before the most important dinner of your life. 25 catastrophic endings. All of them your fault.

The Setup

Tonight, you're meeting your partner's parents for the first time — at the fanciest restaurant in town. You've rehearsed your greetings. You've ironed your shirt. You even memorized their dog's name.

But right now, none of that matters.

Because you're locked in the restaurant bathroom, pants around your ankles, staring at an empty toilet paper roll.

Your future mother-in-law just texted: "We're here! Where are you? :)"

Your phone is at 4%.

The clock is ticking.

How It Plays

• Anything can be toilet paper if you're desperate enough. Your necktie. Your socks. Your underwear. The restaurant's fancy hand towels. Look around the bathroom — if you can see it, you can wipe with it. But every "substitute" comes with consequences. Terrible, terrible consequences.

• Text so vivid you'll wish there were LESS detail. No graphics needed. Your imagination does the heavy lifting — and it will punish you for it. Players have reported physically cringing, gagging, and laughing until they cried. Sometimes all at once.

• 25 endings, each worse than the last. A million-dollar lawsuit. A SWAT team raid. A devastatingly public breakup at the dinner table. One ending so cursed we almost cut it from the game. Every choice branches into chaos you never saw coming.

• 5-minute runs. Infinite regret. One playthrough takes just 5–10 minutes. Collecting all 25 endings? That's between you and your therapist.

  

"Why Am I Still Playing This?"

Here's the thing: Game Over screens in this game don't make you angry. They make you laugh so hard you forget to breathe.

You'll tell yourself you're done. Then you'll think: "Wait... what happens if I use THAT?"

And you're back in the bathroom. Again.

From the gut-wrenching tension of a clean getaway to epilogues that will have you wheezing on the floor — this is a dark comedy show disguised as a game. Every ending is a punchline. Every choice is a mistake. And you won't be able to stop.

Perfect for Sharing

• Short enough for TikTok. Unhinged enough for Twitch. 
  Every playthrough = a new reaction clip your chat will never let you live down.

• Compare endings with friends. Judge each other's choices. Destroy friendships.

⚠️ Warning: Do NOT play this on a full stomach. Do NOT play this in public. Do NOT play this with your parents watching.

Your Dignity Is on the Line

The people outside that bathroom door know nothing.

They have no idea what kind of desperate, disgusting battle you just fought in a stall that smells like regret and expensive cologne.

You have two things left to protect: your future marriage, and whatever shred of dignity you have left.

Wishlist now. Survive later.