Greatest President Ever

About the Game

You are John D. Morron, President of the United States, and also of the company that sells the White House its gold toilets. Term limits say your time is almost up. Chief Blunt has an amendment that cancels them. It needs seven signatures by day 15.


Every morning, a stack of documents lands on the Resolute desk. You read each bill and slam down APPROVED or VETO. One bill spends federal money proving Canada exists. Another sells the national cheese reserve through your own company. Every stamp moves the Treasury, your Secret Cash and FBI Heat.



Leaked photos and memos reach you before the press sees them. Take the marker and black out your face and the fourteen cases of gala champagne. Leave too much visible, and a reporter asks about it that afternoon. Black out the whole page, and they ask what you are hiding.



As things get worse, the desk gets more tools. A daily list names the topics you must never sign. A UV lamp shows whose fingerprints are on a funding bill. Urgent laws arrive with a timer. Some bills come with their own hardware: a big red button, a weather console, a rocket launch. One morning a newspaper sends a poll on the greatest presidents, with a scale that goes up to 15 out of 10.


At the end of each day, reporters ask about your actual decisions: the photo you released, the law you signed an hour ago. Every answer moves press approval. Keep the room on your side and you get the bullshit hose, which ends a press conference in a very physical way.




Nine politicians hang on the board in your private quarters. Eight of them want a specific favor. Chief Blunt just wants you to stay.

General Buzzcut wants money for Thunder Pigeon, a supersonic pigeon deterrent with its own brass band. Ambassador Backchannel wants his yacht recognized as a mobile embassy. Your son wants his own Cabinet office, staff included.

Approve their pet law and hide their scandal when it reaches your desk. Ministers also expect you to defend them in front of reporters. Then wait for the envelope with their signature.

You can also keep the original photo. A politician who sees it signs fast. FBI Heat rises every day it sits in your drawer.


Some afternoons you hand out the budget in person. Four ministers come for money, and later you deliver it with a hose. Favor one ministry and its rival holds a grudge.

Other afternoons belong to Morron Bay Resort. Invite a politician for three holes of putting and bet up to $10M on the result. A birdie knocks a few points off FBI Heat. Losing to a senator costs you the bet.


The private quarters have a laundry. Wash dirty bills in the sink, dry them and stack the clean cash in a crate. Spend it on Amerizon, where a gold TV or a private helicopter arrives the next day.





At night your phone has a social feed. Build a post from topic cards and see what it does to tomorrow. When the news is bad, there is Flappy Morron.

Someone also mails photos of you to the residence and names a price. You can pay, or you can find out who it is.


Three times during the campaign, you renovate a room yourself. Pick the wallpaper and roll it on, then carry the furniture and your portraits where they belong. By the end, the Oval Office is mostly gold.


On day 15 the amendment reaches your desk. With seven signatures, you stamp it and give the speech. The epilogue remembers how many of those signatures you forced. If the Treasury hits zero or FBI Heat reaches 100%, agents walk into the Oval Office with handcuffs.

• A 15-day story campaign with nine politicians to win over and several endings.
  
• Physical desk work: rubber stamps, a redaction marker, a UV lamp and a desk phone.
  
• Press briefings built from the choices you made that day.
  
• Favors, scandals and blackmail behind every signature.
  
• Golf at Morron Bay, a money laundry, an online shop for presidents and a phone with a social feed.
  
• Three White House renovations you do with your own hands.
  
• Text in 9 languages: English, Russian, Ukrainian, German, French, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, Simplified Chinese and Turkish.